I despise smartwatches and the behavior they engender. I recognize that they are very useful for a whole variety of reasons, but humans don’t seem capable of using them politely (sadly, this trend is not exclusive to smartwatches).
For example, let’s say that a friend and I, on what is an otherwise average day, are discussing a legitimate cure for cancer, due to an entirely coincidental quadrupling of our brain power. This happens at a local coffee shop, where we meet every Wednesday morning just to chat.
So, as we’re chatting, we realize that we might be on to something and we redouble our efforts and we get closer. We’re nearly there, about to save the lives of untold millions. Then, Joe’s wrist vibrates and he, as is usual, turns his attention from me to the watch, which only wanted to notify him that he’d received an email from a Nigerian Prince, offering him massive returns if only he could lend some short term aid.
Joe looks back up two seconds later, but the moment has vanished. The universe saw fit to return our brains to normal. Close as we were, we’re no longer capable of solving the problem. The cure has sublimated out into the atmosphere, killing those untold millions when they might have been saved, if not for two seconds of impolite behavior.
Obviously, we weren’t really about to cure cancer. We were likely talking about the weather or sportsketball or the newest trends in labradoodle fashion. It doesn’t matter much. What matters is that Joe chose to ignore me for two seconds because his watch told him to. This is no different than if, in the middle of our conversation, he’d picked up a book and started reading or began talking to the person at the next table or just said “fuck you” and walked away. It’s the same as checking your phone when it buzzes or twinkles or dings (watch-checking seems to be thought of as more socially acceptable and that’s probably because it’s a slightly less intrusive act). All of these behaviors are rude and unacceptable.
Think on these examples: you meet a friend for drinks; you’ve just met someone cute and you start flirting; you go on a date with your spouse; you take your kiddo out for breakfast; you have a meeting at work. In these scenarios, the participants are agreeing to ‘be there’ for each other. You and that other person, you’re giving each other your time, which is the scarcest resource an individual can possess.
But, when Joe constantly checks his vibrating wrist, he’s telling me that he values the notification on his watch more than me, even though he likely has no idea what the notification signals (the nuance here is important…if Joe told me that he was expecting an important email, then I wouldn’t be upset…there are very many things in life which should take priority over a recurring coffee date). His actions are telling me that he doesn’t value my time.
That said, do I, Barry, think that my acquaintances value their buzzy watches and their notifications over me? No, of course not. I suspect that most people have simply never thought deeply on the subject. Does that excuse their behavior? Of course not. As ‘rational’ humans with ‘normal brains’, they get no passes in this. It’s the same as trying to get out of a speeding ticket because you didn’t know the speed limit. Personal responsibility is a real thing and it fucking matters.
So, what do I want? I want people to realize that constantly prioritizing their watches over their acquaintances is unacceptable; people should actively prioritize their relationships over things like digital notifications. I want people to realize that giving our time and attention to others is one of the most valuable gifts that can be given and that refusing to focus, refusing to give priority to the person you’re meant to be interacting with, devalues that gift.
I want people to realize that, if you and I are ever interacting [I mean this literally] and you continually break contact with me to stare at your watch, I’m gonna get pissed. Do it enough, I’ll choose not to interact with you in the future.
If everyone refused to accept such behavior, then people would stop doing it and that’d just be a real nice thing.